21 February 2011

A Visit?

After school I'm hoping everything goes well. I THINK I might get a visit from work.. by someone. There are heaps of bad situations that I can picture coming up, some neutral ones, and some that might go REALLY well (but is unlikely). God please help me here :(

20 February 2011

My Ideal

The reason why I haven't fallen for him yet is because he's a lot like me in relationships - clingy, sad and blames himself easily, too cheesy, can be a LITTLE immature sometimes. But.. besides all that, he's actually the type of guy I want. There is this day where.. he made me laugh and really happy, and we sung together, even if he was a really bad singer, finishing each other's lines. We first met online, but the moment we met in real life, something clicked, we were comfortable with other straight away. Well anyway, I'm hoping he doesn't read my blog, because this is embarrassing. And he's not even single. LOL. Well anyway, the reason why I'm telling you guys this, is because.. he was the first guy to really brighten my spirit since the day that that dreaded event happened. But that doesn't mean I like this guy that I mentioned/described above. Haha.

15 February 2011

Valentines

I forgot to write about this yesterday, but yes, Jordan was my valentine XD
Just wanted to thank him for yesterday, it was his first valentine but he did a great job :) Although if we had more time, I reckon there would've been much more to do in the city, but oh well. Wishing you many more happy valentines day to come :D

14 February 2011

My Prayer

God, before I met 'him' I was pretty distanced from you. When he finally came into my life, everything changed. I became thankful of what I had, started praying more, walking back into Your path. But when he left, I thought I lost all hope. Well, Christie helped me, as well as other friends. And now? I'm closer to You than ever before. You really planned this all along, didn't you? :) I may not see the plans You have for me, but by learning to trust you I can see the bigger picture :) Even the pastor/preacher said so on Sunday. That day I felt like You really spoke out to me, through that message :)

Thanks God..

12 February 2011

Because of you

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you..

- Kelly Clarkson

Childlike

People say I'm really mature for my age in many ways, but if theres one thing I'm childlike in, its love. I want to love like a child. Just love, with no borders or no conditions. So I guess when people go, "she doesn't know anything about love, she's too young".. well you're right. You know back in primary school? Well its not the same when you get older, 'conditions' start rising up. People start to spot flaws and become picky with who they'd like. People start going out with others for reasons other than to start a future with them, like to either:
1. Impress their friends
2. Play a game
3. Feel lonely no more
4. Fulfill their physical desires
5. Gain a status
6. Feel happy
7. Make others feel jealous

I dont know, when you get older, love becomes more complicated. You never know if you can trust a guy or girl, because they might just be bluffing.

11 February 2011

Swimming Carnival 2011

So today was our swimming carnival - last time I heard, the green team was coming 2nd ;) this year's enthusiasm was really bad, no one really participated in cheers =/ most of us also didnt swim (including me). but other than that, we took HEAAAAPS of photos :D they're all on facebook now, so im getting spammed heaps with notifications. but thats okay :p

10 February 2011

Wow.

I can't believe I did it. I confessed. It felt good to let it all out. Though I'm really scared I'll regret it, but I'm sure I spoke to the right person :)