14 December 2011

Stage Fright + Dream rant

Last night I dreamt that I was in a grand Indonesian shopping mall and there was a special celebration event (for I dont know what) and I was chosen to do a piano / singing solo in front of a large audience (and everyone was all dressed formal) and Jason was there teaching me the parts and the lyrics and I demonstrated one line of the song to him and it sounded good.. and then a few hours later, during the actual performance I freaked out because I forgot what keys to play (since I play by ear and memory, and cant read music so the sheet didnt help at all) and I even didn't sing, because I actually thought they were two separate performances - the playing piano, and then me getting up to sing. They was background piano music while I was struggling to even get one note on the piano, so I pretended to be playing but I think everyone knew I looked very confused and panicked, brother even got up and went up to the piano midway in the performance, back faced towards the audience and giving me hand signals, but obviously it didn't help at all, as hand signals dont actually tell you which notes to press.. Anyway I was just thinking in my head, 'stuff this, I'll just try to do good in my singing performance' but well, you guessed it, because my singing was meant to go with the piano playing, I was totally lost. Anyway the audience actually delaying in their clapping so it got me really tense scared they might know I didn't even play it at all..

And thats my dream.. First time ever dreaming of stage fright (usually my dream themes are me being late to something and that panicking feeling associated with it, or me being chased by a killer or someone dangerous), so its pretty interesting and I can remember fine details of what the place looked like and everything.. scary o__o But I hear if you keep a dream journal and get into the habit of remembering your dreams, you can apparently learn to have a lucid dream! so cool :O


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