14 November 2012

Post-HSC Fulfilment

These holidays seem promising as I look at my whiteboard down the list of things I'm doing for the next few months. So far, going to Tim's birthday party, the Sydney Kings bball and the Bondi beach without a worry of exams or homework has truly given me a taste of freedom xD

Today was my first day back at work and I must admit, feels REALLY good finally earning my own money again instead of constantly feeling bad for wasting away my parent's money :)

Speaking of money, I owe my mum about $150 for the formal dress before I can actually start earning money for myself xD She said she's willing to pay for it because it was meant to be my bday present, but I feel bad, so I'm gonna pay her back 2/3 of the cost (includes alteration) xD After that, I can start saving for Indo (although I actually don't think I'm going to buy much this year, the clothes and shoes are much better here, plus I can't really 'really' 100% go shopping without my mum LOL like I may be shopping but my heart is not fully into into it hahaha). Other things I want to buy include most of the stuff I wrote in my previous blog post (the list of things I want to save up for) but as well, I still owe tons of people super belated bday gifts xD

Speaking of formal dress, I got it altered about a week ago and today I got to pick it up :D I'm not 100% satisfied (with the dress in general, colour doesnt really suit me and the shoulder pads actually give me an older, less youthful look) but what can I do? spent so much on it, can't go back.. at times I feel like just going back to the $10 white dress I bought ^^" Anyway I got my jewellery sorted, now just my clutch bag and shoes :) and nail design if I have time lol

Other news.. This Friday was meant to be my interview at UTS for the I.T scholarship (2nd stage of application), but I still haven't got an email saying I got through.. So I think they rejected my application =/ Ah well, at least I tried.. Will have to change my course preferences around now lol

Hmm.. My thoughts on the new happy couples? I'm sincerely happy for them!! :D So much has happened within our group within the last few months and three people who we all thought would not get a man until uni, actually did get a man xD xD Seeing all the happy couples takes me back to my first relationships and the excitement everyone would get from me dating, but with every new relationship I had, I feel that 'newness' about relationships has faded for me sadly. I no longer feel the specialness and innocence of my 'firsts' :( Yup, I really do wish I waited till after high school to go through my firsts actually lol. I actually know a friend who is just about to graduate from uni and has not once had a partner (not because they can't get one, but because they didn't want one + wanted to concentrate on a good career). In some aspects I admire them, but mostly I would've thought it'd be normal to at least date once in uni o.o But I do admire that they are building a strong foundation in their career before finding a partner to support them with :)
I can't help but want a bf too after being surrounded by happy couples, but this is actually a feeling I've learnt to ignore, because it's more of a desire if you get what I mean? And I've learnt to think more realistically too. I mean you know how people can tend to be too attracted to the idea that being in a relationship can bring happiness that others surrounding you are currently experiencing? Well I've been through enough relationships to know that it's not all rainbows and that. Long story short, I am SO much more careful now, about who I enter into a relationship with. Since my last relationship, I'll be honest with you, I've had slight interest (not liked) quite a number of guys, but I'm glad I actually got to know them well this time before that interest grew into liking them. And you know what? After a couple of months, I found that I ended up not liking any one of them LOL. Maybe thats why my relationships end up short lol. Like enter into a relationship when you 'just' got to know them a little and started getting interested in them, only to get to know them while you're bf and gf and realise they're not the one. This is sooooo me.. lol
Anyhow, I've written two paragraphs but I still can't seem to fully express my current thoughts on relationships and love at the moment, so I'll just leave it here xD Kudos to you if you're actually still even reading this LOL

Anyways I think thats it for now =) Feeling shleepy, night! ^___^

1 comment:

  1. awww nomz! :'O your so deeep! dw you'll find one if you want one! or someone will come to you ^_^

    and dont change it yet! you might get in :D :D !!!