When it comes to my ______ group, I get completely socially awkward and I don't know why?
I think being the quiet/reserved person that I am, I'm just not cut out for socialisation in big groups, because big crowds usually mean that its easy to disappear without anyone noticing.
A friend once said to me (just changing the words slightly):
"Everyone in the group is great, but only separately, not when in a group".
That's true, everyone has amazing personalities and are friendly and all, which makes it great to talk one-on-one, but when it comes to group conversations, there will always be two or more people who click together so well that everyone else just gets left out.
(I think that's why a clique is called a clique lol.)
To be honest the group is so big that sub groups exist, which consists of two or more people that click together even more.
I won't mention names so I'll refer to people as puzzle pieces (which can surprisingly relate).
Have you ever had a puzzle piece that seems like it fits perfectly into the gap of the other but when you try it out, it doesn't quite fit? Refer to that odd puzzle piece as 'me'. Then there is that right puzzle piece that is actually meant to fit with the other perfectly. Refer to those two fitting puzzle pieces as a 'group'. What happens when.. that matching puzzle piece goes missing? Refer to that missing piece as a person just not being there. You would resort to the odd puzzle piece just to fill in the gap temporarily.
I feel like that happens in real life too. Because I don't quite fit in to any of the sub groups, I'm the second resort when their friend is not there. And well you know, it kind of gets you down when you're a second resort because no matter how hard you try to ignore it, the truth is you'll never fit in as perfectly as someone else does.
I used to be someone's matching piece in the group but then I got replaced when they realised someone fit in even better.